So, I’ve had a lot of bad luck in the bathroom.
I once broke the pinkie on my left hand. I was shaking out a towel and smashed my hand – WHAM! – on the bathroom counter. (I remember hearing the “crack”.) I ended up in the emergency room and came home with a nice metal splint.
I once sliced open the ring finger on my left hand. I was stupidly trying to enlarge a hole on a belt, using my brand-new super-sharp scissors…and, of course, it slipped and I got a nice gash that bled all over the place. I ended up wrapping it in a sanitary pad and gauze tape and driving myself to the emergency room. The emergency room doctor – who was so cute I almost forgot how to talk – was impressed that I thought of the sanitary pad. I thought it was brilliant – they’re sterile and nice and thick with gauze. Anyway, I ended up with stitches and lots of nice painkillers, which I needed once the anesthetic wore off.
And that brings me to today. I made my husband promise not to tell anyone, and now here I am sharing it with the world. Never said I was smart. Or graceful.
Did you know it was possible to punch yourself in the nose?
Well, it is.
I found this out the hard way.
Again, I was using a towel. Only this time I was bent forward, toweling my hair dry. I got a little enthusiastic. The towel slipped and I lost my grip and my clenched hand (not quite a fist) smacked me right in the nose.
I alternated between moaning and laughing. It was ridiculous. My nose throbbed and I felt stupid and I was in pain and it was the funniest and weirdest thing that happened to me in the bathroom since I don’t know when. Luckily, there was no bruising or reddening or anything, but every now and then I’d rub my nose or sneeze and it would throb a bit, reminding me of how uncoordinated I could be. In the bathroom.
Which is officially – in this household at least – the most dangerous room in the house…for me.